God Runs His Business a Lot Like Chris Brown

If you’re going to be a commercial pilot you have to begin by learning how to fly an airplane. You have to learn the basics of flying first. After that you can worry about licensing, logging hours and getting a job.

How we begin is important in our spiritual lives as well. The Bible tells us that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Our generation doesn’t talk much about fearing God. We like to emphasize God’s love, forgiveness and mercy. But fearing God does not mean being scared out of our wits. Rather, it means respectful obedience. It means that we take God very seriously and do what he wants. It’s the foundation of wisdom.

Fearing God means respecting him, trusting him, believing in him and obeying him. If we forget to fear the Lord, sooner or later we’re bound to crash!

Bound to crash?? WTF? Did this guy just make a threat toward us backed by the power of god?? What a dick. And wait a minute! A contradiction in the bible?? Unheard of.

Did you get the message everyone? Be well, clean and do good even though i created you sick in filth as a dirty sinner. Believe in me, even though there's no proof. Fear me, even though I'm eternal love. Love me, even though I'm threatening you with eternal torture.

Chris Brown saying "sex me now, or have your face meet the business end of my fist" approves.

It's Dangerous To Go About Your Life Assuming Zeus Won't Punish You For Eternity

Our lives are based on assumptions. I remember a conversation between a Christian and an atheist. The Christian assumed that the Bible was true, and that he would go to heaven when he died. The atheist assumed that the Bible wasn’t true, and that when you’re dead, you’re dead.

Finally, the atheist said, “So, what happens if you live your Christian life and at the end of it you discover that I was right and you were wrong?”

The Christian replied, “I will have lived a good life and I will die.”

Then the Christian asked, “But, what if I’m right and you’re wrong?”

The atheist thought for a moment before saying, “Then I will have made the worst possible mistake of all of eternity.”

Our assumptions shape our thinking about everything in life. But if our assumptions are wrong – the results are eternal.

Nope. Wrong. Atheists have already answered Pascal's Wager probably a million times over in an hundred different ways, but apparently it still has no affect on people regurgitating it over and over and over like they discovered the human genome or something. HaHA! Checkmate Atheist!

Off the top of my head, here are just a few answers that an actual atheist would have responded to "What if the Christian is right and you're wrong?" none of which include "Then I will have made the worst possible mistake of all eternity." ...

1. What if we're both wrong, and Muslims are right? There's aren't just 2 choices here. And further, if Muslims are right, I believe Allah would be even even more angry at your false-god Jesus love, that he would an atheist's disinterest in the whole thing.

2. Assuming the bible is true takes faith. You don't have to believe anything on insufficient evidence to assume the bible isn't true.

3. Belief is not directly subject to the will. I can't just self-induce myself into theistic belief. Thus, if i got up to the pearly gates, i imagine a true god would be aware i was just pretending to believe, and pretty unimpressed by this.

Prepare Your Mind By Closing It Off

A common report from police officers, fire fighters and soldiers is that they survived an unexpected attack because their earlier training “kicked in.” I remember a TV interview with a soldier who said, "I was too scared to think. I just did what they trained me to do and it worked."

This is true in our spiritual lives as well. In fact, the Bible instructs us, “Prepare your minds for action.”

That means anticipating the dangers or temptations that are apt to come our way and imagining in advance how we will respond.

Think about your values – what you believe in. Think through what it means to be faithful to God, to be honest, to avoid sexual temptation. The key point is to prepare in advance! Become spiritually strong before troubles arrive. Otherwise it may be too late.

The bible says "Prepare your mind for action" ... Let me translate here. By "action" the bible means learning. But it doesn't mean "prepare your mind for learning." It means "prepare your mind for encountering the danger of learning." The problem is Christianity already claims to have all the answers for everything. So the religious totally hate it when science goes around solving things with real evidence and reason that they pretended to already give you the answer for. Thus Christianity is kind of counting on you to close your mind off to new things prepare your mind for action.

Notice the random attack on sex once again as well... Awesome. Shame people about their human sexuality over and over.

I'd definitely suggest waiting until marriage for sex. That way you have a much greater chance of spending the rest of your life with someone you're sexually incompatible with. But that's just as well, since you should probably only have sex to procreate anyway. You can wait until heaven to experience pleasure. And god knows that there's no sex in heaven ... so there must be something even better than sex there. Maybe it's those chocolate strawberry crostatas from D'Amico & Sons? I'm not sure though, that's just a guess.

Spread the love of God? Gaaaaaaross

“Bloom where you are planted” is a familiar phrase. It’s a very pleasant idea but to me it raises a nagging question, “What does God want from me where I’m planted?” Or, put another way, “What’s the purpose of my life?”

Living your whole life without any understanding of what you are here for is sad. It’s kind of like a fruit tree that appears healthy but never grows any fruit. It looks good, but it misses out on what matters the most.

When you discover that your purpose is to show others the love of God in whatever place you are planted, then you will grow the fruit God has designed you to produce. Your attitude will change. You’ll be able to face disappointment with courage and accept success without pride as you reflect the love of God. Then you will truly bloom where you are planted!

Annnnnnnd we're back! Little hiatus there.

I have to say, this is a pretty big disappointment that the purpose of my life is to "show others the love of God," unless that's a euphemism for something, in which case, that sounds kinda sexy.

Note it's no mistake that this is common thread throughout most religions in history: It's not enough to just lie to your kids and immediate family about things you don't really know. You're mandated to go out and spread the great news to others. Why? Pretty obvious. The same reason the church is "against birth control." Gotta get as many subscribers as possible before logic and reason win out and you become another extinct religion buried in the mass grave that is mythology.

Also, God sure has a funny way of showing love. I generally don't give the people i love ultimatums backed with a threat of torture, but that's just me.

God Employs Manchurian Candidates

Caesar Augustus was the first Roman emperor. He was a powerful military leader who united the empire, built roads and cities and was a patron of the arts. When Caesar Augustus called for a census for tax purposes, it was his decree that set the circumstances for the birth of Jesus. If it were not for his census, there would be no birth in Bethlehem, no shepherds or so many of the things we associate with the Christmas story. Augustus knew nothing about Jesus, but his decree set the stage for Jesus’ birth.

It impresses me that God often accomplishes his purposes through people who don’t even know it. Today God still uses the decisions of famous and powerful leaders to accomplish his great purposes in history - even if those leaders know nothing of Jesus.

So Caesar, the guy that led an empire that believed in Jupiter and Apollo for centuries, laid the groundwork for Jesus? Makes perfect sense. By the way, no one ever came along and confirmed "Greek and Roman gods are dead and this jesus stuff is the truth now." Jesus essentially has the same credence as Roman myths.

It is pretty impressive what god was able to accomplish through people like Adolf Hitler. Once we die and get up to heaven, I'm sure God has a brilliant explanation for the holocaust. Right now we just don't understand because his "ways are higher than our understanding."

Less Critical Thinking, More Faith Please

If you want to grow a carrot, you have to plant a seed. It would be an exercise in futility to water, fertilize and chase the rabbits away in hope of growing carrots if you had never planted any seed. In order for something to grow, it must first begin.

The same goes for faith. Unless someone first becomes a Christian, there is no faith to grow. Many Americans think they are Christians simply because they’ve been born in a Christian family. But that’s no more true than being born in a garage makes you a car. Becoming a Christian is based on personal faith in Jesus as Savior and Lord. There needs to be a point in time when you believe.

Remember, in order for faith to grow, there must first be a beginning. Plant your seed of faith today so it can grow!

Totally... you can't just pretend to believe in the nonsense to appease your parents & god and go to heaven. You have to fully divorce yourself from all logic and reason.

Also i feel like more Christians should be born in garages... Because, let's be honest... hospitals are the result of hundreds of years of scientific development. And it's tough to trust anything to science, because it's evil. It keeps undoing explanations for things that my bible already told me about.

Molestation Victims Should Seek Shelter In The Church

Domestic violence is a major social problem today. It occurs in every strata of society.

If you are counted among those who are abused, you need to know that Jesus came to set the oppressed free. That means that Jesus came to set you free. You need to know that the abuse is not your fault. Parents who molest their children, husbands who abuse their wives and adult children who abuse their parents – they are the ones doing wrong. There’s never an excuse for hurting the weak and vulnerable.

If you are abused, help is available – but you have to tell someone. Talk to a pastor, tell a teacher or call the police. Getting the help you need is not only best for you, it’s ultimately the best thing for the person who is hurting you.

Yes! Talk to a pastor about getting molested... He'll be happy to give you a hand I'm sure.

Jesus came to set you free abused women! Really? He did? Let's even completely ignore the Old Testament where god condones things like the forcible raping of women slaves in order to take them as your wife... I just want someone please find me a mainstream religion that is free of content that includes "Man > Woman."

Yet this creepy middle-aged virgin is trying to tell abused women to find shelter in a church format. Seems like Tim Brewster came up with this gameplan.