Praying ... an epic time-waster

We get angry when we read in the newspaper about criminals getting off on some legal technicality. Perhaps the evidence wasn’t gathered correctly or some fine point of the law wasn’t met and the criminal was released. Not because he was innocent, but because of a technicality.

Sometimes we fear that we may approach God with a need in our life only to have our prayers rejected on a technicality. We worry that our prayers might not fit the prescribed formula because we are unaware of how the Bible instructs us to pray. We think God might say, “Sorry, on that technicality I’m throwing out your prayer.”

But let me assure you. He’s not that kind of God. He’s a God who is ready and waiting for us to come to him; a God who is anxious to listen and predisposed in our direction. He won’t get hung up on the technicalities.

I agree. Don't get hung up on worrying about your prayer getting hung up on technicalities. Instead i'd worry a lot more about the fact that your wasting your time praying to someone who doesn't exist.

I don't know quite how to put this... but there is no god that answers prayers. This is actually a measurable thing. They've done it hospitals. They had whole groups of people pray for certain people and not others with similar conditions. Shockingly, the prayers had zero noticeable effects.

Don't Take Credit For Your Own Hard Work Or Success

How a person handles success teaches us a lot about that person. Are you familiar with the Bible story where Jesus fed five thousand people with the lunch of one small boy? His miracle made him the center of attention and the talk of the town.

So what did Jesus do to celebrate his success? He went off alone to a mountainside to pray. Now, please don’t misunderstand. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the praise of the people; it was just that God was most important to him and he wanted to give the glory to God. Whenever we experience great success we naturally want to share that success with whoever is most important to us.

The next time you have something to celebrate—it might be a promotion; a new baby or winning a championship—do what Jesus did. First, give God the glory.

Where's this god at now? Africa could really use one of those Jesus-Super-Happy Meals right about now. What's that god? You're going to let them spread AIDS and malaria and starve to death instead? OK... cool... it's your plan.

I'm so glad i have a brain and the ability to reason. If i subscribed to this Jesus nonsense, i'd have to spend half my time thanking god every time something good happened, and then the other half of my time praying for better things every time something bad happened.

I'm also glad i heard this today, it's a good reminder. When my child is born, i'll be sure to sprint out of the delivery room, and find a quiet corner in the hospital to praise an imaginary, invisible presence. I mean it would be nice to share that moment with my wife, whom i could actually see and converse with about how awesome it is... but god was first in line and needs his glory i guess.

Working On God's Slave Plantation

Jesus talked about money more than just about any other topic, and a central point to his teaching was that God owns everything. It’s our privilege to use the resources that God lets us use, but we must never treat them as if they belong to us. Everything belongs to God and we are merely the managers.

Now, let’s suppose that you let me drive your new car. I need to keep in mind that it’s not my car, it’s your car. I’m careful with it because I know that if I treat your car well, you may let me borrow it another time.

God wants us to have the same awareness in regards to all our money and possessions. Everything ultimately belongs to God. God lets us live in his houses, drive his cars and use his possessions. But he also holds us accountable.

We are managers, not owners.

"Everything ultimately belongs to god." Man... god sure has a lot of stuff. Think of all the ball gags, dildos and pornos god must have. It sure was nice of him to let us use all those. I'd be sure to use some disinfectant and scrub those before giving them back to god. I think he'd appreciate that.

Also i bet a lot of people aren't going get to use god's guns again after the first time they borrowed them. Naughty people.

Waste Your One Life On An Imaginary Sky Monster

We all have one shot at life and we don’t want to blow it. We don’t want to get to retirement age and wonder if our lives have really counted for anything. It’s human nature to want our lives to matter, to count for something and to leave a mark when we’re gone.

I think the best place for us to look for some answers is at the life of Jesus. If someone would have asked Jesus, “What do you do?” he might have said that he was a carpenter or a teacher. But that probably wouldn’t have been the first answer he would have given. Most of all, Jesus lived for God. He went where God told him to go and did whatever God wanted him to do. He had a clear sense of direction and purpose and meaning – he was on earth to do what God wanted him to do. And it’s that singleness of purpose that God wants for us to have in our lives as well.

I know when i hear the phrase "clear sense of direction and meaning," the first thing i think of is an imagined, invisible all-powerful presence that no one has ever seen nor heard. A presence that can, (and has been) interpreted in thousands of different ways. Either that or the bible.

I'm glad that interpretations of god and the bible provide a clear-cut way to live a positive life. Imagine if you could just twist around the words of the bible (or whichever holy scripture) so that you could reasonably justify anything... now that would be chaos.